Thursday, March 12, 2009

10 Reasons For a Tarantino Remake

I lost interest in Tarantino way back in the mid 90's. While I don't deny "Pulp Fiction" and its lightning bolt charge of cinematic richness to indie films, his stuff always feels like an echo of much greater work. Tarantino is a walking encyclopedia of genres, camera angles, and obscure cult films that he distills into current pop smorgasbords. There's nothing wrong with liking that. I simply prefer to gorge on the originals.

So now we have "Inglourious Basterds" [sic] coming out this summer. After recently watching Enzo Castellari's original 1978 film which Tarantino's will be loosely based upon, I can certainly see why the ultimate film geek wants to use this bat-shit piece of Italian obscura as a jumping off point for something.... equally trashy and bat-shit, maybe? Granted, Castellari's film is fun in the sense that you can gain some joy while sitting around at 1am, drinking beer and laughing at the numerous amounts of over-the-top deaths and 70's persuasion. I somehow think Tarantino will strive for something more honorable than that... while ripping off every piece of Sergio Leone, and Sam Fuller along the way.

10 Reasons Why Tarantino Chose to Remake "Inglorious Bastards"

1. It features an African-American with an afro who spouts off ultra cool lines of dialogue whose anachronistic presence is worn out quickly.
2. It gives him a chance to feature a bridge explosion sequence (David Lean anyone?)
3. There's a secondary long haired hippie character who looks like he's been smoking dope all day and discovers a group of Nazi women taking a bath in a stream.
4. Lots of bullets that never hit anyone except the bad guys (to profess his love for Tsui Hark and others)
5. A train derailment sequence. I can just see Tarantino slobbering over this. Honestly, who wouldn't though?
6. A chance to overlay some Ennio Morricone music.
7. A chance to use swipe pans, quick zooms (a true staple of 70's Italian movies) and mounted stationary shots as vehicles drive.
8. Characters who swagger around in Nazi uniforms, dressed like the enemy to sneak behind the enemy line.
9. Castellari's original was essentially a twisted remake of "The Dirty Dozen", one of Tarantino's favorite films.
10. Lots and lots of Nazi deaths. Slow motion Nazi deaths. Quick Nazi deaths. Tortured Nazi deaths.

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