Monday, January 14, 2008

My Dinner With...

So, the first meme of the year, courtesy of Piper at Lazy Eye Theatre asks a very simple question. The rules are as follows:

1. Pick a single person past or present who works in the film industry you would like to have dinner with. And tell us why you chose this person.

2. Set the table for your dinner. What would you eat? Would it be in a home or at a restaurant? And what would you wear? Feel free to elaborate on the details.

3. List five thoughtful questions you would ask this person during dinner.

4. When all is said and done, select six bloggers to pass this Meme along to.

5. Link back to Lazy Eye Theatre, so people know the mastermind behind this Meme.

I urge everyone to check out his own entry which is worthy of an Eli Roth torture porn adaptation.

So, I've given this lots of thought. I could go several ways. I could go fanboy and envision myself sitting down with Martin Scorsese or Terence Malick or Jean Luc Godard, but hell you only live once so I opted for the purely carnal.

My dinner would be with....

Yes.... Salma Hayek. Now I'm talking about the recent Salma Hayek and not the vampira/goth/rattlesnake-shape-shifting-Salma that Tarantino brought into cult status back with From Dusk Till Dawn (though I'm aware that there are those fetishists who hold this Salma as the only Salma... and that's cool I'm just not into that scene). But then you go back and, wow, you have the Salma from her Antonio-Banderas-swashbuckingly-hot-kickass-chick years with Once Upon a Time in Mexico and I'd be very ok with that kinda girl as well. What is it that makes a python around a girl's neck seem intimidating and yet the same girl can fire guns, swing swords and jump out of buildings tied to a sheet and it makes my heart flutter? But I digress.... I'm rambling here.

Back to the dinner. And I believe my entire last paragraph thoroughly explained in some warped way why I chose Salma, right? We'd have dinner at a restaurant reserved only for us. Yes, money would not be an option. Personal waitstaff, all that jazz. Since my meals consist mainly of things known as combo meals and big macs, I'd have to order one of those cheezy specials that the waiter offers.... "minced lamb chops covered in a tart mushroom sauce, sauteed in 3/4 ounce marinated lemon juice, artichoke salad and California honey dew grass slivers". Sounds good, serve it up. Let's skip over what I'd be wearing because does anyone really care? What is Salma wearing. Well I can't explain it because I don't know a lick about fashion, but she looks fucking incredible.

I'd ask her, what's it like to be the most beautiful woman on the plant, yet manage to keep yourself free from the shitty tabloids that desecrate so many other actresses of lesser talent and lesser beauty? Is Tarantino the ass I suspect he really is? Is George Clooney gay? How would you cure world peace? Do I have a chance in hell of sleeping with you... or following you to your home and peeping in your window? Ok.. I've officially entered into the Salma Hayek stalker club. I take back that last comment. I'm perfectly adjusted. But, honestly, who am I kidding? I should've just selected Woody Allen for this meme and been done with it.

Chris at Ojo's blog
Lucas at 100 Films
Moviezzz at Talking Moviezzz
Neal at The Bleeding Tree
Evan at Club Parnassus

You've been tagged.

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